When doubt jumps on and wants to go for a ride; push back.
When you gave it your best but were still denied; push back.
When your best made plans fall just a little bit short and to blaming and excuses you want to resort; push back.
See we are not here to carried along wherever fate takes us though the current is strong. We are here to PUSH BACK.
Are you kidding me? Yeah…I can lift 5 lbs. Picture this: we’re in the weight room. You have spotter. They throw 5 on each side. You knock out a 55 lb bench (impressive). If they asked you can you lift 5 more? You’d undoubtedly say yes. As we add weight, eventually the answer becomes no. 5lbs at a time, we take on more than we can handle. Be it time or capacity, there are limits. Be honest with yourself. Each individual addition of work is added to what you already have or should have on your plate. No one would walk in to a weight room and say…”I can do all of this…” It’s easy to commit to the unseen hours far beyond our capacity to lift it. Think about yourself under that bar when you pick things up and put things down. We are limited whether we acknowledge it or not.
“What offense are you going to run?”
I remember asking this of another coach years back.
“UConn.,” he responded.
I asked what the play involved: ballscreens, flare, pindown, what?
His answer? “I don’t know, I just know every time the head coach called it we scored.”
This guy was in love with the “what” and he didn’t even know what the “what” was. I think that many times coaches can fall in love with a what when really what makes something work is who. This can also run the other direction. We can think the “who” is the reason for a play’s success when really any number of players in that position would perform largely the same way. If we don’t properly evaluate the real reason something succeeds or fails then we can’t replicate or redirect. Is it a what thing or a who thing? An important question to keep in mind!
Don’t fall in love with a play when it’s about who does it.
Don’t fall in love with a who when it’s a play thing.
I was recently reminded of how connected everything we do with our teams really is. I saw a video of the way that wolves restored Yellowstone National Park after they were introduced. They cut down the deer population which allowed more foliage to grow. This allowed small animals to return to the region. Increased bugs in the foliage allowed birds and other animals to return to the region. Trees were able to grow to maturity. Otters eventually returned as well changing the very course of the rivers and creeks running through the park. It’s a pretty incredible story and great illustration of how one small thing can lead to a great big thing.
Team building is not all that different. The right thing at the right time can lead to more growth than we could anticipate. It takes wisdom and awareness to know what’s missing. Few would think when asked why there are no longer eagles, otters, birds, and other wildlife in the park that it’s because there aren’t enough wolves. We must make sure our teams have balance as much as we can. Each member is connected to the others for better or worse. To pretend otherwise may mean we overlook the most important ingredients needed. To those coaches starting up their seasons this month…happy hunting.
If you’ve not heard the story, there’s a good video here.
As coaches and leaders, we have to make decisions that aren’t easy. We have to discipline those we lead when called for. If we want to stand for something and make them better than they would be otherwise we are going to have confront behavior that is not up to the standards we believe in. At the same time we want to have relationships with them. We want them to know we are on their side and not an enemy. How can we do it? Divide and conquer. A few thoughts on this:
- Divide the person from the behavior. This is often the most difficult to do. You may not like someone’s behavior, but you can still like the person. See them as they could be and love them until they become it as much as in your power to do so. Most relationships are damaged when we fail to see that what they’ve done isn’t all they are.
- Divide the person from the situation leading to the behavior. I heard a long time ago that in areas of temptation/struggle it’s easier to trust your steering rather than your brakes. It’s easier to avoid a bad situation rather than stop once in it.
- Divide the person and the false belief. Many of the behaviors that sabotage young people come out of false beliefs about who they are and what will bring happiness. If we can come alongside and show them a better way we can address the cause, not just symptom.
See the end you want in the beginning. You want to see growth occur without burning a bridge to get there. There will be times they may burn the bridge beyond your ability to prevent it but as much as it on us, we can approach them in a way that respects standards and people. Divide the person from the problem then conquer the problem.
In any volunteer organization there are rarely enough hands to do the work needed to be done to have the type of organization that people would like to have. We’d all like to have more while giving less. It’s human nature.
In something like a basketball program where there is annual turnover with graduation and the change in makeup of teams from year to year it’s important to let those involved in this year’s program that the hands holding up last year’s has changed. To many that are early on in the process the organization is a continuous “they”. It’s easy to think of what “they” should have done, should do, and should be planning to do. The hard part is in doing it. It’s important for those that are embarking on the shared journey to realize that “you are the they you’ve been waiting for.” There is no one else. There’s no back up plan. You are plan A, B, and C. Many are master delegators, but there’s a big difference in delegation and abdication. It’s important for us all to know the difference.
As coaches we fall in love with the game PLAYING the game, not coaching it. Coaching is a tough spot to be in. You are the one most responsible for what the team does on the floor with absolutely no ability to touch the basketball. I believe that the tendency to over-coach comes from our wanting to impact every play. How can we do this? By calling the perfect set at the perfect time? By whatever interactions we deem effective in “influencing” the refs? By distancing ourselves from our players missed shots while taking credit for every make.
The problem with this approach is that we can be so in search of making a difference on EVERY possession that we create players with more questions than answers. More indecision than commitment. Balancing putting down the controller and providing direction when needed is developed by feel and I believe the best walk that balance expertly.
We aren’t playing the game anymore, so how can we be the straw that stirs the drink without becoming the stick in the spokes of the wheel? We are directors; composers; but we aren’t the actors anymore. The sooner we can convince ourselves of this the better for ourselves and for our players.